Tag Archives: Kirkendall

Co-Authoring Adventures

Hello. My name is Jeff. I am a recovering writer. I can’t help myself. I just have to write

(click to enlarge)
(click to enlarge)

things that I want to remember. Mostly I want to remember the stories. I want to remember what I learned, the people I met, the unusual experiences, and how it all unfolded.

I am regularly amazed and grateful for my life adventures.   I am rich with memories.

Talking about my late wife Carol at the Peregrine Book Company was fantastic. It was like bearing witness, or describing a rare and beautiful phenomenon in nature, or giving a toast to her in front of my peers.

Let me back up.

I belong to the Professional Writers of Prescott. It is an organization and a monthly meeting of local authors, writers, poets, readers, all getting together to share our crafts, learn from each other, and hopefully inspiring one another to keep writing and sending out our messages in a bottle.

Five of us were at the Peregrine Book Company in Prescott Arizona to tell about our Co-authoring Adventures.

Carole Bolinski, who brought us co-authors together, told the audience of her experiences sharing with her brother. Their book of poetry is titled Pearls Beneath The Rind. Bill Lynam told of him and his brother bicycling and mopedding across Europe a decade after World War II. They also “footloosed” their way through South America and back across the United States. His book is Footloose Pilgrims. Connie Johnson engagingly told the story of her and her sister’s collaboration on their book Farm Kids, A 1950’s Wisconsin Memior

Herbert Windolf recalled his precious long-distance relationship with a German woman, whose poetry he translated into English. Herb, an accomplished poet himself, dazzled us all by reading a poem in German and then the same poem in English. His book is The Year Mirrored in Poems.

It was marvelous experience collaborating with these writers, these kindred spirits, holy scribes, keepers of ancient traditions. I had a nice laugh with the audience when I finished my presentation by explaining that I was going to convince my colleagues Carole, Connie, Herb, and Bill to join forces, rent a van, and go on a national book tour of our own.

I know it doesn’t sound that funny the way I describe it now, but it really was cute and everyone in the audience laughed.  As a storyteller and teacher and entertainer long ago, it felt great to be back.

I spoke of my experiences co-authoring the book  Without Consent: How to Overcome Childhood Sexual Abuse with my late wife Carol Jarvis-Kirkendall.  I explained how our writing together was a big part of my decision to marry her. We were great together saving families. easing suffering, and sometimes helping send bad guys to prison. She had my back, and I had hers, and sometimes when people are really good together, one plus one can equal three. Our work has been a healing influence in thousands of lives.

I read my popular story Marriage Decision Vision. (Click here).  I explained that I made a promise to Carol early in our relationship that when she left this world, I would be holding her in my arms. She would know that she was safe and loved and had lived a good life. I told my listeners that I kept my word and that was just how Carol passed.

I thanked everyone there for coming. I thanked Susan Lang for the pleasure of speaking at the Peregrine Book Company. I explained that if anyone in the audience would like to know more about the child on the cover of Without Consent, they needed to read my Indians & Aliens – and unexpected short stories.

I further explained that if they bought both my books that day, I would ride home with them, do a dramatic reading, and stay for dinner.

They laughed. I laughed.

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(click to enlarge)

Met a lot of nice people.

So thank you writers,

and thank you readers.

It was a great day.



Co-authoring Adventures

ANNOUNCINGAuthor photos and more 016

2 pm / Saturday,

January 31st, 2015

Jeffery Kirkendall will speak

at the Peregrine Book Company

In Prescott, Arizona


Five writers present their adventures collaborating with a spouse, friend or sibling.  Hear the struggles, conflicts and laughter that each writer experience on the journey to complete a book.  One has to do with developing a transatlantic friendship.  Another is a coming of age experience.

The other authors share about soul-mates finding one another and sibling harmony.  These story tellers reveal how in co-authorship their stories and poetry exceeded what one could have accomplished alone



Answered Prayer Found

Carol Ann & Merlin, Tennessee Autumn
Carol Ann & Merlin, Tennessee Autumn

While sorting through the creative mess of my desk, I found something I wrote two years and eight months before Carol’s passing. I prayed this prayer in one form and another countless times. To all who contributed to this answered prayer. . .

my deepest gratitude.



Let children gather at her bedside asking questions of her life.

Let women who know who she is

tend to her every need

bring her nutritious foods

comfortable pillows

pick her favorite book

read to her aloud

as she rests her eyes

and safely falls asleep


Let spiritual brothers and sisters soothe her

waking from a childhood nightmare,

identify themselves and talk with her,

assuring her she is with someone she loves.


Help me

Help her

Help us all


Let there be no harm

Only kindness



(Phonetic Lakota blessing)

Carol Ann’s Passing

Carol & Merlin
Carol & Merlin

After a week of home-care, my beloved Carol Jarvis-Kirkendall, returned to Hospice Family Care in Prescott, Arizona.

At 9:05am on November 20th, 2013 she peacefully passed from this world to the next.


With our beloved daughter Mary at my side, in the fold of Hospice angels, with the help of far-reaching voices, we were able to fulfill my promise to Carol when we married . . . When we have grown old together, and should you prepare to die before me, I will hold you in my arms, you will feel loved, safe, and know you have lived a good life.

I read to Carol many times the messages and letters sent by friends, family, colleagues, and people she had never met. People who deeply respected the woman she had become. People who celebrated her healing contributions to the world.

Clearly her compassion and kindness continue to ripple through countless lives.

I am sure that I will spend the rest of my time on earth sharing the stories of my life with Carol. I look forward to it. She is my precious muse. May I be blessed with a long and productive life.

For now, I tell you just one story.



On that morning,
I held her in my arms for hours.
She looked to me for the last time.
I then wailed endless sounds
I had never heard myself make before.


Thank you for your prayers of many faiths.

Thank you for your messages of love.

Thank you my courageous Mary!


Prayers of Gratitude.

Sobs of Grief.





“Making music is the most fun a human being can have in life with his/her  clothes on.”

(Unknown Nashville songwriter)

That has pretty much been my experience. When everyone’s talents and passions come together, something beautiful happens, and we are transported, . . even if just for a few moments, . . to a place where magic happens, and three ordinary guys can Run With Coyote.


I read a story about one red man’s first encounter with a white man. The Native man watched the European man from a distance in the forest. The newcomer to his land carried a heavy iron stick that he pointed at brother deer. A thunder-clap exploded from the stick and brother deer dropped dead.

The Indian watched as the white man dressed out the carcass, saving the hide and meat on which he later feasted. The next day the Indian watched as the white man again pointed his thunder-stick at another brother deer, at even greater distance, and again brother deer dropped dead.

What startled and confounded the Indian man is that he watched as the newcomer turned and walked away from his kill, back to his camp, while admiring his weapon.

In astonishment, the Indian man’s mind thunder-clapped, “What kind of creatures are these?!”


For me, the spirit of that story combined with a local newspaper article twenty years ago.  There was an upcoming project by authorities in north-central Arizona to “thin the coyote population” by shooting them from a helicopter with a shotgun.

My original title was “Shotgun Coyote” and this song is my crying out a warning to the coyotes.  Doc helped finish off the lyrics and made the recording happen.  Bubba worked his guitar and studio gifts.  The day we created this song, in our minds and hearts, we were  with the coyotes.

Perhaps you will be there with us.

Vocals by Dennis “Doc” McCracken and guitar by James ” Bubba” Hudson, Nashville.

coyote in desert postcardClick RUN WITH COYOTE SONG

Then click your download.



Powerful Women

For thirty years I have worked and studied in the world of abused women and children.  Historically it has been a profession of few men.  For those women and few men who daily work in the trenches of child abuse, the pay is low, the stress is high, and we are born of a shared Mission .

We save lives, ease pain, and give healing assistance to those children and adults of every race and religion who suffer for the terrifying sins of others.  Some of what I have learned about powerful women from all walks of life is in the  following quotation:

Powerful woman & precious Merlin

As a woman uses power appropriately she experiences an increasing sense of serenity and balance in her life. She gives to others but is not emptied by the giving. She receives from others but does not empty them. She recognizes that she is responsible for herself. She wants the best for others but does not take away their responsibility for achieving it. She provides support but clearly recognizes the need of the individual to develop her own resource. She respects and facilitates others in their own journeys of self discovery.

A woman who uses power judiciously allows herself to feel joy and sorrow with equal vigor. She expresses righteous anger but is not vindictive. She works toward resolutions in which everyone is a winner. She is motivated by self-expression and creativity rather than competition and greed.

Responsible use of power includes confronting injustices in ways which enhance one’s own dignity and that of the person or persons being confronted. A responsible and powerful woman listens for the truth in criticisms leveled at her with genuine concern and love, but she does not give up her self-worth in the process. She protects herself from those who criticize in an attempt to shame her and make her less of a person. She is willing to acknowledge her mistakes and makes amends when possible. She recognizes her own fears and faces them with confidence and courage. She regularly commits herself to life with a courage she is not always sure she has. (excerpt from Without Consent: How to Overcome Childhood Sexual Abuse by Carol Jarvis-Kirkendall & Jeffery Kirkendall)


I have been blessed to have known many powerful women in my lifetime, and I have learned much that continues to call me to be a better man.  What Truth have I discovered and I might share with you?   Lean closer dear reader as I tell you with  calm confidence , . .

Powerful women can lead this world to greater Compassion and Justice than men can. 

 Powerful women are the key to a healthy future for humankind and mother earth.

Hey, . . just one man’s opinion. . . .

about women.