Tag Archives: Carol

Answered Prayer Found

Carol Ann & Merlin, Tennessee Autumn
Carol Ann & Merlin, Tennessee Autumn

While sorting through the creative mess of my desk, I found something I wrote two years and eight months before Carol’s passing. I prayed this prayer in one form and another countless times. To all who contributed to this answered prayer. . .

my deepest gratitude.



Let children gather at her bedside asking questions of her life.

Let women who know who she is

tend to her every need

bring her nutritious foods

comfortable pillows

pick her favorite book

read to her aloud

as she rests her eyes

and safely falls asleep


Let spiritual brothers and sisters soothe her

waking from a childhood nightmare,

identify themselves and talk with her,

assuring her she is with someone she loves.


Help me

Help her

Help us all


Let there be no harm

Only kindness



(Phonetic Lakota blessing)

Carol Ann’s Passing

Carol & Merlin
Carol & Merlin

After a week of home-care, my beloved Carol Jarvis-Kirkendall, returned to Hospice Family Care in Prescott, Arizona.

At 9:05am on November 20th, 2013 she peacefully passed from this world to the next.


With our beloved daughter Mary at my side, in the fold of Hospice angels, with the help of far-reaching voices, we were able to fulfill my promise to Carol when we married . . . When we have grown old together, and should you prepare to die before me, I will hold you in my arms, you will feel loved, safe, and know you have lived a good life.

I read to Carol many times the messages and letters sent by friends, family, colleagues, and people she had never met. People who deeply respected the woman she had become. People who celebrated her healing contributions to the world.

Clearly her compassion and kindness continue to ripple through countless lives.

I am sure that I will spend the rest of my time on earth sharing the stories of my life with Carol. I look forward to it. She is my precious muse. May I be blessed with a long and productive life.

For now, I tell you just one story.



On that morning,
I held her in my arms for hours.
She looked to me for the last time.
I then wailed endless sounds
I had never heard myself make before.


Thank you for your prayers of many faiths.

Thank you for your messages of love.

Thank you my courageous Mary!


Prayers of Gratitude.

Sobs of Grief.




A Prayer for Carol Ann

Dear friends and relatives,

My best friend for thirty years, my Carol, is very ill and fragile in Intensive Care today. Nothing else in the world can occupy my heart. Being a caregiver for her is the most important work I have ever done. I am so profoundly proud of her.

My wife has eased the suffering of thousands of near-forgotten children and families of many faiths, . . all who suffered for the sins of others. She is internationally regarded for her work with child abuse.

So for those of you who asked, if you want to pray for her, we welcome all faiths. I only ask you pray she knows she is loved and safe. Something she missed as a child.

You may add that she know the world is a better place for her having been here.

Thank you for asking.

If you would like to e-mail her an encouraging message, please do. I will print and read them all to her.. . . jeff@writinginamerica.com

Many blessings to you and all your families.


Carol Ann & Dinah
Carol Ann & Dinah

Powerful Women

For thirty years I have worked and studied in the world of abused women and children.  Historically it has been a profession of few men.  For those women and few men who daily work in the trenches of child abuse, the pay is low, the stress is high, and we are born of a shared Mission .

We save lives, ease pain, and give healing assistance to those children and adults of every race and religion who suffer for the terrifying sins of others.  Some of what I have learned about powerful women from all walks of life is in the  following quotation:

Powerful woman & precious Merlin

As a woman uses power appropriately she experiences an increasing sense of serenity and balance in her life. She gives to others but is not emptied by the giving. She receives from others but does not empty them. She recognizes that she is responsible for herself. She wants the best for others but does not take away their responsibility for achieving it. She provides support but clearly recognizes the need of the individual to develop her own resource. She respects and facilitates others in their own journeys of self discovery.

A woman who uses power judiciously allows herself to feel joy and sorrow with equal vigor. She expresses righteous anger but is not vindictive. She works toward resolutions in which everyone is a winner. She is motivated by self-expression and creativity rather than competition and greed.

Responsible use of power includes confronting injustices in ways which enhance one’s own dignity and that of the person or persons being confronted. A responsible and powerful woman listens for the truth in criticisms leveled at her with genuine concern and love, but she does not give up her self-worth in the process. She protects herself from those who criticize in an attempt to shame her and make her less of a person. She is willing to acknowledge her mistakes and makes amends when possible. She recognizes her own fears and faces them with confidence and courage. She regularly commits herself to life with a courage she is not always sure she has. (excerpt from Without Consent: How to Overcome Childhood Sexual Abuse by Carol Jarvis-Kirkendall & Jeffery Kirkendall)


I have been blessed to have known many powerful women in my lifetime, and I have learned much that continues to call me to be a better man.  What Truth have I discovered and I might share with you?   Lean closer dear reader as I tell you with  calm confidence , . .

Powerful women can lead this world to greater Compassion and Justice than men can. 

 Powerful women are the key to a healthy future for humankind and mother earth.

Hey, . . just one man’s opinion. . . .

about women.